I'm intrigued by #11! I'd love to hear your stories behind this. This is a really big question -- whether to try to do both or limit yourself ot trying one!
I read something like this somewhere, I wish I could remember where, and I jotted the "you can go to a party and still go to bed early" down in my writing notebook. I love to go to parties but I also love, love, love to be in bed early. I am usually up by 5:15am so I'm more of a lark than an owl. I take a lot of ribbing by always being the first to leave a party, but if I just give myself permission to go, well then...
It got me thinking that there are probably a lot of times/situations where we can do both or be both. So now I try to ask myself, "is this a both situation". It's very helpful for a perpetually conflicted person such as myself. :)
That's really helpful. I think I make these decisions more in light of "shoulds" than "is" or "can." (E.g. I SHOULD be happy being a SAHM with no professional life, so I shouldn't do both. Or, I SHOULD be able to both keep the house sparkling clean and homeschool intensively every day, so if I can't manage it, something's wrong with me.) I haven't really experienced these questions as freeing -- I seem to always choose the one that will make me more unhappy! I've been doing better with this in recent years, but I'm observing through your comment that maybe this is less a "should" question and more a "what do I like/need/enjoy" question, although I'm sure shoulds still play a part. I think your way is probably healthier!
I'm intrigued by #11! I'd love to hear your stories behind this. This is a really big question -- whether to try to do both or limit yourself ot trying one!
I read something like this somewhere, I wish I could remember where, and I jotted the "you can go to a party and still go to bed early" down in my writing notebook. I love to go to parties but I also love, love, love to be in bed early. I am usually up by 5:15am so I'm more of a lark than an owl. I take a lot of ribbing by always being the first to leave a party, but if I just give myself permission to go, well then...
It got me thinking that there are probably a lot of times/situations where we can do both or be both. So now I try to ask myself, "is this a both situation". It's very helpful for a perpetually conflicted person such as myself. :)
That's really helpful. I think I make these decisions more in light of "shoulds" than "is" or "can." (E.g. I SHOULD be happy being a SAHM with no professional life, so I shouldn't do both. Or, I SHOULD be able to both keep the house sparkling clean and homeschool intensively every day, so if I can't manage it, something's wrong with me.) I haven't really experienced these questions as freeing -- I seem to always choose the one that will make me more unhappy! I've been doing better with this in recent years, but I'm observing through your comment that maybe this is less a "should" question and more a "what do I like/need/enjoy" question, although I'm sure shoulds still play a part. I think your way is probably healthier!
Very wise :)