When life squashes your plans

Offer it up

I had a nice Friday. I was working quietly while listening to the online Catholic Writer’s Guild Conference, and I was getting inspired to up my game here on Substack. Danielle Bean, who has been a great encouragement and inspiration to me for over twenty years, had an excellent presentation about how she manages her Substack, which included a lot of practical advice - always helpful.

Between that and a few other presentations, I was fired up. I made a good list of things to accomplish on Saturday, which was a completely free day for me and I went to our Friday night prayer group filled with ideas and enthusiasm.

I should have known.

Halfway through prayers, I started feeling weird.

By the time we arrived home, I was distinctly unwell.

I have spent the last forty-eight hours sicker than I have been in years, all stomach-related. I’ll spare you the details. Saturday and Sunday are gone, and there is a misty memory of people checking on me, sipping water, and generally wishing for death.

A Young Woman on her Death Bed - 1621

I was also sick with a respiratory thing starting on January 1st. That took me out for a week, so I have spent the entirety of this year feeling thwarted and behind. What is even more maddening is that I don’t get sick very often and I am feeling this is not going to be the year where I can continue saying that.

Have you ever been full of enthusiasm and energy for something, and life just swoops in and takes you out at the knees? It’s frustrating, to be sure. What did help, and this may sound weird, is that somewhere around Sunday afternoon, it occurred to me that there are people undergoing chemo that feel like that most of the time, for months at a time. I can’t even imagine; I watched it happen to my mom and a few friends and it was awful. So, I started offering up my internal chaos for those suffering from chemo. A small thing but hopefully God will use it to ease someone’s pain, at least a bit.

I often hear my mom’s voice saying, “Offer it up,” when I am apt to whine about how this or that is ruining my life. She was a great one for seeking spiritual benefit from the annoyances of daily life. I am less great but getting better and I think it’s because as I get older I tend to hear her voice in my head more often. I don’t know if that is good or a precursor to some mental illness but right now those little reminders are helpful. When the voices begin telling me to bay at the moon some intervention may be necessary.

Let me tell you about the plans for here in this little corner of Substack. First, paid subscribers will have a Featured Friday Post. That will be something interesting that I am learning about, seeing around, or just piques my interest. It could be Foodie Friday, Fashion Friday, Current Events Friday, or anything. Suggestions are welcome.

There will also be one post a week for paid subscribers. The book reviews and archived columns and one column a month will remain for free subscribers. I am also thinking of doing a podcast here. That would be in addition to my homeschool podcast for Seton Home Study School with my partner Ginny Sueffert. FYI, Season Three drops on March 5th.

I’ll be praying about the podcast idea and would welcome any feedback.

I want to thank you all for hanging around and I look forward to building a community here in 2025.