I like a list post once in a while. It is an easy out for me and as a reader I always like to see the types of lists other people make and why. It is also a good exercise to get your brain working when you are feeling a little stuck about things to write about or conversely when there are too many things swirling around in your brain and you need to focus.
I saw a few lists in the last week, mostly to do with summer plans which I always find funny. Summer plan lists are like New Year’s resolutions, lofty in intention and mighty difficult to execute. I wonder which of these ends up being more successful? My summer resolutions remain steadfast, avoid bugs and sunburn. After that it’s all gravy.
Back to my list.
I was thinking, of what things I would now deem important in life. These things tend to shift as one gets older so I thought I would make a list of some things that are important, in no particular order and keeping in mind it could not possibly be complete.
Things That Are Important (and I do mean things, people are always important)
A good mattress and good pillows, as opposed to focusing on decorative pillows. At the moment I am sorely in need of a good mattress. The shopping for one will begin soon. A good mattress is life changing and although they are crazy expensive it is worth ponying up for whatever you can afford to get a good one. Same with pillows. Sleep is too precious to be fooled with and tossing and turning on a terrible mattress can make you miserable. Decorative pillows, while pretty, are time consuming dust collectors that drive husbands nuts. I’ve been through the decorative pillow phase of life and now I realize that money could have been put into a mattress fund.
Reading. I am honestly baffled by people who don’t read books. How can you not wish to escape the world for a time and immerse yourself in a good story, or learn something new, or deep dive into a subject that interests you. When I meet someone who is not a reader I tend to wonder what trauma they encountered in childhood that damaged them thusly. For my husband, who reads but not much, it was an experimental phonics program in his early elementary years which left and entire grade school struggling to read and spell for the rest of their academic lives. I feel as if idiocy like this was eliminated from public education (or if the entire system was trashed and something reasonable and non union was established) there would be many more voracious readers out there. In any case, audio books leave people no excuse, you can at least listen to a book. Reading makes you a better person. People who read are more knowledgeable, empathetic, and better at critical thinking. I feel as if society would be less angry and more open to the guy’s opinion if people were reading more and looking at TikTok less.
Setting the table for meals. There is certainly a time for lining people up at the counter and handing them a paper plate and calling it good. I’ve done it enough times to know. I did it yesterday in fact however setting the table creates the correct atmosphere for a family meal. Even if the meal is just two people there is something special about coming together for that meal. Set the places, put out cloth napkins which I buy for very little money on Amazon, use a serving dish or two and light a candle. Meals are important, and setting the place for them really does not take any time at all, especially now that I don’t have little ones. Leila Lawler explains it better. She can be counted on to explain the practical and homey in interesting and uplifting ways.
Getting your appointments done. I’m talking about your dental exam, physical exam, breast exam, mammogram and whatever else needs to be inflicted on you to make sure everything is working the way it should. I finally had to join the colonoscopy club last summer and I have to say it was not as bad as I had been led to believe. I lost six pounds and had a great nap so I would be willing to do that again but I’m fine for another five to ten years (which means I’ll probably take fifteen to make another appointment). There is no upside to neglecting your health, especially as you get a little older, things sneak up on you. I just went to the dentist to find out I have no cavities (yay) but two of my crowns that have fallen out have done so because ……
get this,
I’m old. Yes, that’s right, when you age your mouth changes and sometimes your crowns just fall out for no reason. I also have a filling on my twelve year-old molar that is curved or bowed or something so that is going to go soon too. I’m literally outliving my teeth. Anyway, you should go to the dentist, while you still have teeth left.Comfortable shoes. When I think of the years I spent running, yes, running, around Manhattan on three or four inch heels I could weep. I miss being able to wear really high heels. Alas, it is just not worth the pain anymore. I spend serious money on shoes and I take really good care of them which leads to my next important thing.
Buying quality. I wish I could have all the money back that I threw away on cheap, trendy junk. A good white blouse, a black skirt, black pants, quality shoes. Invest in tailoring, resoling shoes, taking care of things the way your grandmother did. I have sweaters from the 1950s that were my grandmother’s. They don’t fit me but I have them. We have a throw-a-way consumable culture and it’s killing us financially. Have fewer things and invest in them. I need to do better at this myself.
Having faith. I have faith in God. In Jesus Christ His Son and my Savior. I know that His plan for me is better than my plan for me although I fight back often. There is a certain peace in having faith in God. It enables me to soldier on, to live in hope and to know that it will all be for my good. It really is the only way I can get up in the morning. It’s easy when things are good, sure but when your world collapses faith is the only thing you can cling to. In the days, weeks, months after we lost our son uniting myself to that cross, prostrating myself before it and acknowledging that whatever this plan was I knew it was best, it was the only thing that kept me sane. Seriously. There were days I could have easily jumped off the edge into a deep, dark place, but I had faith. It hung by a thread sometimes but I persevered and I can be at peace knowing my son is at peace.
Beauty. Arrange your life so that beautiful things are woven through every area. Beauty is essential, it elevates us, it calls to mind the divine. It also does not mean expensive. Beauty can be good music on the radio, a geranium on your windowsill, a piece of pottery from the thrift store, a scrubbed and shined bathroom, a book of poetry, a child’s drawing on the fridge, a framed photo of your grandparents. All of these things are beautiful. When you make the commitment to seek out beauty you are at the same time eschewing what is ugly and debasing. Think of the medieval monks who shut out the world but simultaneously saved Western Civilization by preserving all the beauty they could. We should aim for that.
Forgiveness. There is probably someone you need to forgive, totally and with abandon. It’s not easy, being of a cranky and grudge holding nature I know this, but it is essential. The freedom of letting anger go, the release is life changing. It is also our Christian duty and since we are all, at some point going to be relying on God’s infinite mercy it just makes sense to show it when we can.
Humor. “I’m not a man constantly thinks up jokes. But I think it is very important to see the funny side of life and it’s joyful dimension and not take everything too tragically. I’d also say it’s necessary for my ministry”. Pope Benedict XVI
I can’t improve upon those words so I won’t even try.
There are, of course, many more important things but these are the ones that I chose to reflect on today. First and foremost are the people in your life, a thing in which I have been abundantly blessed, but things have their place as well. The things that are important should function to support the people you love and enhance your life rather than encumber it.
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